Glittering Stars

At first, she thought it was the sky, and even was excited for those precious moments until the rabbit – still majorly peeved at being pink – snorted and told her to open her damn eyes and look properly, stupid girl he muttered. She ignored him and looked closer at the glittering lights ahead of her.

Bugger. It was not stars, rather it was a staircase that twirled up into the nothingness, with little glittering lights around it. Having been in the deepest dark, the staircase seemed quite bright, even though it was in fact, only dimly lit.

The rabbit stopped, he looked fearfully at the stair. I don’t think we should he tells her. She responds that they most definitely should, grabbing his arm and stepping onto the first stair. As her foot rose to touch the second stair the whole thing began to shake. She grasped the handrail with her free hand, she looked back, the ground was gone, the stair case was swirling away into the nothingness …

#

Why can’t you EVER listen? Than he is gone and she is alone. Water washes onto a sandy shore, it is twilight. It all looks very inviting, specially the hammock swinging lazily between two palm tress. It’s the paradise she drew as a child, she realizes with a start. She knows if she looks to the right, there will be a straw roof hut and more palm trees.

There is.

She is rooted to the spot. She could remember this drawing, she must have been about 10, maybe a little younger, promising herself she would go there one day. Tucking that little dream away in her dark place, knowing the ridicule she would get … too late though, the picture was discovered, cruelness surrounded her as dark clouds gathered in the skies above her.

She sat on the beach, and as she watched the water began to chop up. Her emotions were in the water it seemed. This place had upset her. When would it ever not hurt.

Never.

That inner voice of the dead chick with no shoes had impeccable timing.

But you made it, didn’t you. That inner voice went on. You made it to paradise.

The clouds seemed to stop, the water settled. She had made it. She smiled.

The clouds suddenly came to life, began to swirl like a cyclone, the waters went wild the hammock tore away. She tried to run from the incoming rain that was heading straight for her, but she couldn’t outrun it. Water fills her vision, her nose, her mouth …

#

The gardens are beautiful, as always. The stone seat is rough under her. The warmth of the hand on her knee is burning into her skin. She stares at the ground, all too aware of the intense cold blue eyes staring at her.

Why are devils so beautiful? She whispers to him.

All the better to tempt you, he whispers in her ear. Her blood boils, she bites her lip, feels his hair brush her skin as he leans in, his breath hot against her face, his lips caress her cheek, she moans, lost in lust that he brings to her every time. He takes her in his arms, he whispered words to her very soul, he draws everything from her and she is lost to him, as always …

#

Her boots make loud noises on the stone floor. She has been walking in dreams but now her senses are awake, aware. She has a knife in her hand. Her temper is as bad as ever. While she can get angry, most people don’t understand the absolute violence beneath her surface. A life time of pent up anger simmers in a pool of violence that she no longer cares if she controls.

Fuck everything is her motto.

Violence is nothing new to her, there is quite a bit of it in her life, she knows what she is capable of, and right now, it is written all over her face. Something has stalked her through the darkness for some time. Something trying to menace her. Something that thinks it kind hide in the shadows.

She will catch it. She will cut it. She will kill it. Than she will kill it again when it is dead.

#

It’s like the fucking maze from the amusement park but a hundred thousand gazillion times fucking worse. Just when you think you found the way out, you figure out you’re just on some new fucked up level that is gonna mess with your head nine times worse than the last level did. You begin to wonder if you’re gonna get out of this place, but than a new super fucking scary thought hits you – maybe this is “it” this is how it goes. It’s a fucking terrifying though that almost strips those last moments of sanity from you. Is this what it’s all about? This fucking insanity?

#

The rabbit can’t get clean. Can’t get rid of the ridiculous pink. Stupid girl. All her fault. Why is it taking her so long. Why hasn’t she figured it out yet. How many drawings. How many times before she gets it. Stupid girl.

#

The staircase swirls slowly through the nothingness of shadow and darkness. She holds the rail, holds the rabbit. Suddenly the stair stops swirling. For a moment they just hang their, and it seems almost nice.

Almost.

The plunge is so violent that she almost let go. She clung on as they fell and fell, deeper into the darkness. Deeper then she had ever been before …

~ MJ

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